(no subject)

[stole_a_time_lord]

The TARDIS is asleep.

Sleeping is new and strange and rather excellent, all things considered, in her opinion. All non-essential functions just power down for a while, all at once and all on their own. And then there are the bits of your mind that you never really pay proper attention to when things are going mad all around you, and they get so busy once you've largely powered everything else down, putting together all sorts of wonderful things you can think about when you wake up. Unless, of course, you wake up to find that something else interesting and wonderful and perhaps a bit mad is already going on, in which case your attention may be engaged elsewhere.

Rather like right now, when the TARDIS has woken to discover there's a small, glowing, changing person -- no, not a person, not quite. Like a person, though. Or close enough.

So, a small, glowing, changing not-quite-a-person watching her.

The TARDIS smiles.

"Hello."

Comments

[christmas_past]

The person, who is not quite a person, smiles back.

"Hello.

"I am the Ghost of Christmas . . . wait."

What the Dickens?

The Ghost blinks, several times, trying to make her read on this woman make sense.

[stole_a_time_lord]

"Oh, I don't think that's how it goes.

"It sounds wrong.

"The Ghost of Christmas Wait."

[christmas_past]

"Well, of course it's wrong. I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past.

"And you're . . . the TARDIS."

[stole_a_time_lord]

"Yes, that's right." She nods. "Time And Relative Dimension In Space.

"That's me. I'm the TARDIS.

"I promised you a time machine and that's what you're getting. Now, you've seen the future. Let's have a look at the past."

[christmas_past]

. . . that's not the right order.

Right.

How did this woman get on the list?

"Look, I'm terribly sorry, but could you give me just a minute? I need to make a call."

[stole_a_time_lord]

"I can give you two minutes and ten and a half seconds," the TARDIS says.

"That's how long it's going to take."

[christmas_past]

"Thank you," the Ghost says, and pulls out a mobile phone that is roughly the size of a professional basketball player's shoe.

She really can't wait until iPhones count as past. Telegrams at least could have some poetry and elegance to them, back when she was stuck replying to her youngest sibling's e-mails in Morse Code, but there is nothing poetic or elegant about a DynaTAC 8000X.

Still, the call does have to be made, and forty-seven seconds into her two minutes and ten and a half seconds, the Ghost has succeeded in getting her siblings on a conference call.

"Present? YTC? I've got a bit of a situation here. I know it's not standard procedure, but I could really use some help."

She's got a non-linear entity who exists across all of time and space simultaneously and appears to have been wedged into a nice Victorian girl.

This is not in the manual.

[christmas_present]

Present, on the other hand, is always on the cutting edge of technology.

One might say she's the middle step in the system of hand-me-downs for this particular group of siblings.

She's rather surprised to hear from one of them tonight. They generally don't convene until morning.

"What sort of situation?" she asks, topping off her Christmas toddy.

[christmas_future]

Future activates her nanobot implants, tapping the underside of her jaw to turn on the microphone.

Speaking on this night is very, very strange, but potentially desperate times call for some flexibility.

"Nothing apocalyptic, I hope."

[christmas_past]

"You'd presumably know before I would," Past says.

Time being what it is.

"Come see for yourself. You won't believe me if I tell you."

She looks back at the TARDIS.

"Besides, you're apparently both due in . . . "

[stole_a_time_lord]

The TARDIS blinks at her for a moment.

"Oh!

"Twenty-six seconds.

"Twenty-five.

"Twenty-four . . . "

[christmas_past]

Past turns back to the phone.

"Just get here.

"Please."

[christmas_present]

Presently, Present arrives.

"Oh. My goodness," she says, eying up Past's current client.

Well, that's something you don't see every Christmas. Present wonders if she should produce a couple more glasses of holiday cheer.

"How did she get on the list?"

[christmas_future]

Yet to Come steps out of the shadows, cowl drawn up high around her face.

It's the spirit of the thing, at this juncture.

She makes her steady, silent way around the anomaly in the room, then shoves her hood back to take a closer look.

"Now that's even more unexpected that I was imagining. Hmm."

[stole_a_time_lord]

The TARDIS smiles at the new arrivals, and, for good measure, waves.

"It's like meeting Charles Dickens, and he's surrounded by ghosts. At Christmas," she tells them.

[christmas_past]

Past raises both hands, helplessly, and looks at her siblings.

She doesn't know where to start.

Or end.

Or where any of the middle goes.

[christmas_present]

The middle of this particular trio drains her glass contemplatively.

Obligingly, it refills on its own.

"Well," she says.

She looks at the others.

"How do we want to handle this? As a group?"

Present looks a bit doubtful at that prospect. It's highly irregular.

And there's a reason that these three never shared a room.

[christmas_future]

Yet to Come is still watching the anomaly with an intrigued expression, which is why her reply is absent-sounding in the extreme.

"I'd hate to precipitate any tears in spacetime. But reverse order is hardly going to help at all. It is a puzzle."

[stole_a_time_lord]

The TARDIS looks at the Ghosts.

[christmas_past]

The Ghosts look at the TARDIS.

[christmas_present]

Occasionally, even these three need to know when to cut their losses.

Time (and the proper sequence thereof) is kind of a thing for them.

Present steps forward. She's produced a large, festively adorned candy cane from somewhere on her person.

She holds it out to the TARDIS.

"We're so sorry we can't accommodate you," she says, sincerely, "but we do hope you have a lovely Christmas."

"Please accept our complimentary gift as a gesture of good will."

[stole_a_time_lord]

"Thank you," the TARDIS says, accepting their complimentary gift as a gesture of good will.

Also as a source of peppermint and sugar.

"God bless us. Every one."